A HEARTWARMING TALE FOR THE HOLIDAYS

by the-biennial-project 25. December 2013 14:24

So the other night we had perhaps one too many at one of the Glittering Art Soirees that are mandatory this time of year, and got to chatting with artist friends about the Roadshow Biennial Marfa that The Biennial Project is hosting this coming April.

One of our co-conspirators, who had had, if we are to be entirely honest, perhaps two too many, suggested that we should ask our favorite art critic Jerry Saltz to jury the show with us.

At the time this sounded like just the most daring and Biennial Project thing to do, so we agreed with said co-conspirator that he should chat the old boy up and see if he was game.

What a surprise then when we awakened the next day to find that the aforementioned co-conspirator had face-booked his friend Jerry and asked him to jury our show.

Egad we thought - what would ever have given him the idea to do such a thing? What could he have been thinking? Seriously, that man drinks too much.

But as it happens around the holidays, everything happens for a purpose, and the purpose is always good.

And the purpose of our little adventure was to confirm that Sir Jerry Saltz is indeed not only the best major critic writing in the English language today, but also just the nicest and most decent famous person out there.

Not only did he answer our sorry little asses (OK, maybe not SO little this time of year), but he gave us a rejection letter that surely will reign forever as the most goddamned sweet rejection letter of all time.

Herewith:

On Wednesday, December 18, 2013 11:37 PM, Jerry Saltz wrote:

I want to – but I am so so so busy these days.

NYM is stopping publishing weekly and going bi-weekly; means MORE on-line writing for me; Whitney Biennial is March, etc., etc.

I am poor; you are poor: Bad match.

You don’t have enough to pay me. I can’t work for less than I charge – which is WAY more than you have.

I LOVE being asked; your lives there are so so much bigger than mine here.

I truly envy you all for these lives lived in art…

Thank you; I am honored to have been asked,

Really.

Sigh,

Jerry

OK Biennial Project friends, If you can find us a more generous rejection letter, we will print it in our blog - but we know you can't because such a thing would be outside the realm of human possibility.

Other than the general niceness, there are three things worth pointing out about this response:

Jerry Saltz thinks we're poor. Is it that obvious? Maybe we should stop cutting our own hair to save money. But more importantly,

Jerry Saltz thinks we're artists. How many times have we tried to explain this to you?  Take THAT, painters of fruit - we told you so!

Jerry Saltz thinks we're much bigger than him. OK, now we're just melting in a warm pool of wonderful.  LADADADADADA! LADADADADADA!

While we still have visions of invites to major biennials dancing in our heads, and definitely plan to achieve our goal of becoming super famous in the coming year, until then, this will do nicely. And they say there is no Santa Clause!

Now, be well-behaved children and go follow the good Mr. Saltz on face-book and wherever else you find him, so that you can enjoy his refreshing take on art and the art world - and don't forget to tell him The Biennial Project sent you!

js

(US with Jerry outside the Whitney Biennial Preview Party last year.)

Tags:

Guys We'd Fuck | Our Biennials

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